Last night was kinda rough. My mood had tanked and I couldn't see the good in anything.
Pauly and I were in bed and I wanted him to hold me and tell me how much he loved me.
But, of course, I wanted him to do it spontaneously.
So then I told him what I wanted.
He didn't even turn over and face me.
Instead, Pauly was curious as to why I was feeling needy.
NOT THE RESPONSE I'D HOPED FOR.
Rackin' frackin' husband.
At that point I became certain that our entire marriage was a sham. The love was gone. He has been faking that he likes me this entire time.
God help us all when my ego/inner bully takes over.
Anyway, this went on for a couple of minutes before I realized I really did not like how I was feeling.
So then I told Pauly I was gonna go on a rampage of appreciation instead.
I learned this tactic from Abraham Hicks.
I started talking out loud.
The first thing I did was to go on and on about how much I loved my bed, which I really really really do.
Here's how it went:
My bed is super soft and cushy. Man, memory foam is the best! I love my bed, it's like sleeping on a cloud. It's like sleeping on the softest cloud in the whole universe! I truly cannot believe how comfortable my bed is. And my pillow is pretty amazing too. Also made of memory foam! I LOVE the inventor of memory foam! I have a memory foam mat in my kitchen. I have memory foam insoles. I would cover the whole wide world in memory foam if I could. I love love love it.
And I was just getting started.
I love my skylight and that it's not dripping on me right now. That's awesome!
And I love all of the gorgeous snow outside. I love that everything is covered in fluffy, white flakes. I love that it keeps snowing until summer here in Duluth. I just love snow.
And I love my husband and his super cute butt. He's got the cutest, little butt ever. He's so adorable. And he cooks for me! I love that he cooks for me!
And I love my hot tub. I love soaking in that thing and warming my bones.
I really love my wood burning stove. I just love fire. I love watching it and feeling the radiant heat. And I love that we have fires everywhere, our house, our garage, our yard. I love candles and fire fire fire.
I love that we got to have Oslo (our late dog) with us for 12 years! He was the absolute best dog. And I love that I don't feel separate from him even though his body's gone. I love that I still feel that connection.
And I love all of my books! I have so many great books that I can read whenever I want.
And I love the internet and that I get to communicate with so many friends so quickly. Isn't that great? We can get in touch with anybody now, anytime. It's fantastic.
And I love how great I feel right now just by changing my focus.
I gave Pauly a hug, patted his adorable tushy and told him that I loved him. I didn't need him to tell me anything.
I'd filled up my own love tank with a shift in perception.
And it was easy.