Crash / by Dana Bergstrom

Can you call it a BIKE CRASH if you weren't even moving?

I'm gonna call it one because it involved a bike and a crash.

And, of course, Ray.

So Lil’ Ray and I had just finished a successful ride making it past THREE dogs on our high speed adventure around the neighborhood and I was feelin GOOOOOOD!

We rode onto our dead end, gravel road and spotted the neighbors outside, so I stopped to chat. 

But I failed to remember that their puppy, Myla, was in their backyard and what Ray wants more THAN ANYTHING IN THE WORLD is to GET AT MYLA.

So I stop the bike to say HI.

Ray sees the puppy. 

Ray lunges with aaaaaalllll of his might at the puppy. 

I'm slammed to the ground and the bicycle pins me.

Then Ray drags both me and the bike slowly towards their yard. 

My reaction was the usual. 

As long as I’m not hurt too badly, which I wasn’t, I spend my time thinking about how hilarious the whole thing must look. 

I don’t know how long I was lying on the ground laughing hysterically, but since all shocking things happen for me in slow motion, it seems like it was several minutes. 

Ray’s still barking and lunging while all of this is going on and as I’m giggling, I’m beginning to wonder how I’m gonna get up and not get yanked down again.

The neighbors are just standing there looking at me like...

WHAT

THE

HELL.

Why is this woman not doing anything but lying in the dirt in her paint stained overalls and super age appropriate Boston Terrier shirt?

And why did we move right next to a loud mouth wife who yells all of the time? 

And how can we all band together and stop Crazy Ray from making our neighborhood even less peaceful than Dana already has? 

I know this is what they were thinking. 

I lifted my head off the grass. 

“How can we help?” one neighbor eventually asks.

Hmmm. 

Ray might not deal well with them handling him, so I asked one person to grab the bike, the other picked up the bike basket which had flown off in the crash, and I held on to rabid, barky, lungy Ray as we walked across the street to my house, and I continued to giggle. 

Man, I wish someone had recorded that. 

America’s Funniest Videos GOLD! 

Oh. And Happy Doggy Mother's Day to me and to ALL of the other kinds of mothers out there! :)

A LITTLE LEG BRUISING AIN'T GONNA STOP US FROM MOTHER'S DAY TRAMPOLINING. RIGHT, RAY?

A LITTLE LEG BRUISING AIN'T GONNA STOP US FROM MOTHER'S DAY TRAMPOLINING. RIGHT, RAY?

RIGHT!

RIGHT!