Hey Maybe Just Stay Away From My Face / by Dana Bergstrom

Nobody ever bothered to mention that my getting older could be hazardous for other people.

It's just one of those weird things you figure out at a certain age.

Except NOW I've clued you lucky, little whipper snappers in!

Oh boy.

As I heard that sentence in a nasally voice, I saw an entire set of false teeth fall outta my future old lady face.

Anyway.

A while ago, I worried aloud about injuring fellow pedestrians with frightening, invisible, sword-like, grey eyebrow hairs, after spotting my very first one.

Well.

I'm pleased to say that those fears are gone forever!

I just got a 10x magnification mirror to catch dem stealthy, lil', regenerating weapons before they - YEOW - take somebody out!

It's like having an Eyebrow Terrorism Task Force in my bathroom!

We seeeeeeee YOU, Mr. Silver Stabby!

Ya ain't getting past security today!

So.

BAM.

I gotz THAT covered.

Yet thanks to my new larger-than-life mirror, there's also a WHOLE HOST of facial issues I never even knew existed!

Lord have mercy.

10x magnification is not for weenies.

Am I right, ladies?

It's a good thing I've been dropping loads of body judgments these days!

And it's also a good thing I remember, more than I used to, that I'm not actually a body.

The body is just a vehicle for my infinite energy/soul.

Or maybe my body is IN my soul!

Actually, I like that better! It's waaaaaay more expansive.

Either way, this body is still a temporary communication device which happens to have an AMAZING number of impressive pores.

Like, wow...

I had no idea.

Enormous Porous Galorous - my fun, new name for the situation.

And when looking in that mirror, I wonder if a small unsuspecting human could accidentally bump into me and fall in one of these gigantic, bottomless chasms, never to be seen again.

So, yeah.

I'm delivering good news on the eyebrow front...

plus, a Special Safety Warning for bodies about a Potentially Pedestrian Absorbing Face.

And that's the latest from an ETERNAL SPIRIT with a menacing mug (minus the blog photo filter), roaming the streets of Duluth!