I got pretty wound up the other day...actually, it was the middle of the night.
I was wide awake and chock full of crazy-making Diet Coke chemicals. These highly agitated, tiny demon-like molecules were rushing through my bloodstream, energizing my body, tickling my brain, and egging me on to start a barn burner of an argument.
So that's exactly what I did.
I informed Pauly that I do NOT like how he organizes his stuff in the house next door. I do NOT like the order in which he does things. I do NOT like the way he's approached this remodel at all. And his particular renovating process makes no sense to me. On and on I went until I was sufficiently angry and worked up.
That is when I stated,
"I'd rather die than remodel another house with you."
I totally meant it.
And then two seconds later I knew what I'd actually meant is that I'd rather die than continue to feel so judgmental, separate and upset.
THAT's what was disturbing me - my unloving thoughts.
My constant judgment of Pauly had become so painful that death seemed like a much better option.
Remodel or Death? I choose death, thank you very much.
Once I realized what I was doing, it became easy to take 100% responsibility for how I felt.
Thoughts are the only things that create my suffering.
You know...I love that I snap out of my crazies much faster these days.
In fact, I'd like to give myself a little pat on the back right about now.
Good job, Dana! You're so much less insane than you once were!
Now let's go celebrate with a Diet Coke before we start remodeling!