How Does God Feel About My Boobs? / by Dana Bergstrom

The other day I was walking with a friend along the lake. She told me about a conversation she'd just had with another friend.

To avoid confusion, let's call my friend's friend "JoJo", simply because I love that name.

JoJo will soon be without work or income since her longtime employer is closing up shop. She's wondering if she should make a move at the same time she loses her job. Money, work, and housing are all up in the air and JoJo's beginning to spin out in worry, feeling extremely confused and fearful. 

In a flash of brilliant insight, my friend asked JoJo to imagine that a part of her absolutely knew what to do. She made it even more concrete by suggesting that JoJo pick a body part and imagine that this part of her knows exactly what action to take when the time comes. This part of her knows that ALL IS WELL.

I got overly excited, of course, and yelled "MY BOOBS KNOW!" while vigorously grabbing my ta-tas and laughing wildly.

Later, I was struck by a realization...all spiritual traditions that I'm familiar with, use this exact type of mind refocusing method to get humans to move out of their fear-based egos.

In certain sects of Christianity, it's called having a personal relationship with the all-knowing, all-loving Jesus. Feeling worried? Call on Jesus. He can reassure you that you are loved and okay. It truly works.

Muslims practice specific prayer rituals in order to remember God so their hearts can find rest. This also works.

Buddhists straighten their spines, close their eyes and quiet their mind through meditation. They seek relief and turn to the peace within themselves. This works too.

There are countless practices to help our fear and lack-based human minds to refocus on the love and peace that is ours at all times.

It is worth noting though, that we humans can turn any of these practices right back into ego tools with a fear-based attitude.

Ever met a fundamentalist meditator who insists that everybody practice in the same way or they're doing it "wrong"?  A serious meditator on the lookout for opportunities to judge is not any different than a condemnation-focused Christian or Muslim.

So what I'm getting at here is that instead of worshiping an external entity or following another set of rules, I could simply focus on my.....

Do. Not. Say. It. Dana.

I can't help it...they're my new favorite topic...

BEWBS!

YEEEEEEAAAAAAAH!

Why didn't I think of this before? A booby religion! Can't wait to get this party going! I'm definitely starting a boob blog now!

Hold on.

Oh no.

Crap.

This ain't gonna work.

Hooters are totally temporary. You never know. They sometimes need to be removed. Stuff happens.

See?!

This is why there's not already a current religion based on boobs!

They're ephemeral and you can't count on them always being there like you can with an invisible deity. Dangit.

Okay. So when my fear and lack-based ego mind starts to take over, I'll just continue with my current refocusing technique on my breath.

Oh, wait!

I can still include my all-knowing, all-loving knockers in this inner peace practice for as long as they're on my body!

First, I'm gonna name each one of them "Jo", so together they're called "JoJo". (I really do love that name.) Then as I breathe from my potbelly I can focus on the rising and falling of JoJo on my chest.

I'll also call my practice "Go-Go-a-JoJo". Ya know, to keep things light and ward off the temptation to become a fundamentalist.

And to answer the blog title's question:

I'm not sure if there's an actual being in the sky named "God" with an opinion on boobs.

I like to think that God/All That Is/Source is the infinite, unconditional love energy that is within and also beyond everything we see and know.

And as I learn to slow down and notice that I can ignore my ego and listen to my true nature/inner being, what I really want from this lifetime is becoming clearer. My heart's deepest desire is to be a vessel of that infinite, unconditional love energy.

I know. That sounds outrageous coming from a feral, perimenopausal woman who yells a lot. But I believe it's possible.

And that's why any type of mind refocusing technique that gets my ego out of the way and allows more love energy to flow through me, like boob breathing, is totally, um.......up for grabs.