Another boob post, Dana? Really!?
Yes! These melons o' mine are freshly emancipated and as it turns out, they have lots to say!
Heck, they may even get their own blog. I'll call it "My Boobs Yell" or "Chatty Chi-Chis" or maybe "Hello Titties".
Okay. So here's what's poppin'.
Every week for the previous five and a half years, I've met with five women. We gather in one of our homes to speak our minds, spill our guts, laugh, cry, and occasionally wave our arms and yell.
The group initially began with meditation and short personal check-ins, but now that we all know each other well and everybody is so dang interesting, we spend the entire time talking about our lives. We learn from each others' experiences and appreciate the regular reminders that we are infinite, unlimited energy beings in temporary bodies.
Last week we had our lively gathering in my living room. I'd just published my first ever boob post shortly before we met. Declaring that I'm a spiritual being having spiritual experiences in a big boobed human body had a profound effect. Suddenly, the heavy layers of clothes I'd been using to hide my knockers were ready to be shed.
My sweet cha-chas are out of the closet! WE'RE FREEEEE! WHEEEEE!
To celebrate the liberation of my breasts, I wore the silliest of my newly purchased, tight, thrift store t-shirts. Well, Hello Kitty! And as my grrrlfriends entered the front door, I pointed at and announced my newly unveiled beauties with great elation.
"LOOK AT MY BOOBS! THEY'RE OUT!"
The grrrls were amused and played along with my spazzy enthusiasm.
"Why have you been hiding these, Dana?" said one friend. "They're fantastic!"
I grabbed my boobs, pushed them up, pouted my lips, and swung my hips for emphasis. "THANK YOU!", I laughed and strutted around the house.
All night long, as we sat by the fire and each person checked-in to share their happenings, I found myself looking down at my chest with delight. My boobs were right there! Not in hiding! They're now a magnificent part of this amazing grrrl posse goodness! How lovely!
After we'd laughed all we could, had our hugs and goodbyes, the ladies left and Pauly returned home. I rushed at him smiling.
"Pauly! My potbelly AND my boobs got to participate in the group tonight! Both of 'em!"
(Since writing about my potbelly, I've felt happily free of self-judgment and lauded that once hidden paunch in our gatherings too.)
However, the great joy I was experiencing also shone a contrasting light on the shame I'd felt for so long. Not ALL of me had been there with my grrrlfriends for the last five years - only the parts that I found acceptable. I felt a twinge of sadness for leaving them out of all of the fun.
And that is the price of shame: disconnection.
Thank goodness we have Dr. Brené Brown to explain all of this scientifically now!
According to Brown's research, the antidote for shame is vulnerability. We often think of vulnerability as weakness, but she argues it is the highest form of courage. She says that by sharing our fears and and reaching out, it quiets the "gremlins" that tell us to stay quiet and hidden. And this is how we become fully engaged in life and make connections with other people.
I think of vulnerability as simply verbalizing what the fear and lack-based inner bully/ego (aka Brene's gremlin) is telling you. When you do this with yourself or, even better, with another human who is receptive to it, you detach a bit more from your ego identity and create a powerful connection on a more real level.
Lately, I'm thanking my boobs for forming many wonderful connections. By talking about how I've tried to hide them for so long, I've gotten to communicate on a deeper level with a number of people.
And for blog readers who like boobies too, well, it's pretty much a curvaceous and ample win-win all around. I'm gonna milk this subject for all its worth.
So....peace and love to you and your least favorite and embarrassing body parts, self-concepts or whatevers. Be courageous, honest and vulnerable with yourself and somebody else about them. Free your ego mind and the rest will follow.