You can't tell me that it isn't. I've had a couple of people close to me take their own lives. We all know of people who have done so.
Some humans do it quickly and others choose a very slow bodily death. Staying in unhealthy and stuck relationships, overuse of food and drugs to temporarily escape life's stresses, as well as fearful, judgmental, anxious, sad and angry thinking all can slowly block the natural flow of energy in the mind, body and spirit.
I think many of us choose the slow option unconsciously. As I become more aware of my thoughts, actions and the energy behind them, I know I've done this and still occasionally do.
The suicide we typically think of is the speedy option. Make the decision, make a plan and get it done. That's one I also gave some consideration to. It seemed like it'd be a way to relieve myself from the sheer exhaustion of trying so hard for so long to live up to unrealistic expectations.
One of the funkiest dudes on planet Earth, Prince, sums it up in "Controversy":
Life was not a fun game for me. I had an incredible amount of beautiful and amazing things going my way, yet this existence often felt like a non-stop ferris wheel composed of other people's needs and demands, as well as my own. As soon as I worked hard to achieve whatever goal or expectation was set out in front of me, the next one would appear. It felt like all of the external authorities' judgment along with my own self-judgment would never end. I wanted off. I didn't want to play anymore. I wanted to be free.
But then I stumbled upon a few people who also wanted to take an early exit from their bodies, only to finally realize the intense joy of being in one. Here is one such author and non-dual teacher, Jeff Foster, who explains the urge to die clearly and concisely.
I read this and felt like I finally understood what had been going on with me all of these years. I didn't actually want to die. I wanted to live authentically. I wanted to discover my own thoughts, my own beliefs and my own voice that resonated with who I really am. I no longer wanted to be the person who others expected me to be and simply parrot the many fear-based beliefs and behaviors that I'd picked up along the way.
I found my way out of a prison of "shoulds", a jail of false, external authority-pleasing beliefs, a self-made stockade of serious thoughts that made me feel separate, suffocated and physically sick. And more often than not, I'm able to choose thoughts that take root in the wholeness and playfulness of all of consciousness and life.
I am not separate from the Love/Source that creates everything we see in form. And neither are you. Underneath these meat-puppet costumes and personalities we put on, we really are made of exactly the same love energy as star-stuff, just like Carl Sagan and Funkmaster Prince say.
So I'm happy to be here in a hyper, perimenopausal, middle aged female body on planet Earth. And even though the Inner Bully is always ready to find something wrong with this game of life, I can simply choose a way to shift my thoughts to something that feels better. That act alone will get me off the Friggin Ferris Wheel of Seriousness so I can once again love the experience of being human. There is no shame in considering suicide, but it's not our only option.