Extramarital Deliciousness / by Dana Bergstrom

I'm having an affair. And it could not be better.

"Extramarital affairs are relationships outside of marriage where an illicit romantic or sexual relationship or a romantic friendship or passionate attachment occurs." Well then! My newfound passionate attachment to writing fits the bill! Oh, I feel so terrifically naughty and I didn't even pay those bums at Ashley Madison!

Pauly is understanding of my new love but it has definitely impacted our marriage. He and I will be sitting in the living room having a normal conversation when suddenly I'll fall over sideways wildly clapping and laughing because a salacious blog title just popped into my brain. Or we'll be discussing household tasks and I'll shout, "Aaack! Words are coming! Gotta go!" and I'll race off to my computer. 

This happens a lot in the morning. I love early writing. When Pauly isn't around I go downstairs to my office and forget all about breakfast and lunch. And this is coming from someone whose mother said her middle name should've been "Hungry". I usually scream for a meal every few hours, even as adult, but my hunger for writing makes me forget all about my voracious appetite for food.

Except when it comes to bacon. If Pauly wants to lure me out of the basement all he has to do is whip up one of my favorite omelets, fry some tasty pork and then my love affair comes to a screeching halt. I follow my nose up the stairs.

"Ahhhhh! It smells amazing. Oh, are you lonely, Angel?"

He smirks. His mad culinary skills have convinced me to leave my other love and return to him. The basement dweller bait has worked again.

Then I smother Pauly with hugs and kisses and words of affection until he has to fight me off to keep cooking.

There are many perks to my extramarital affair; my taste buds are enjoying the deliciousness on a pretty regular basis now. And the view from the kitchen table ain't too shabby either. Hey hey hey!

 Shock of all shocks. Pauly agreed to let me publicly objectify him. He's shy but I smooth talked a reluctant "okay" outta Mr. Finey Hiney! Yesssss! May this be the happy beginning of many sexy husband pictures on my blog!

 Shock of all shocks. Pauly agreed to let me publicly objectify him. He's shy but I smooth talked a reluctant "okay" outta Mr. Finey Hiney! Yesssss! May this be the happy beginning of many sexy husband pictures on my blog!