A couple of days ago I posted this 24 second vid on YouTube. I shared it with the people we'd invited to our house party celebrating the start of Fixer Upper #5. But before I posted it, my Inner Bully had a few things to say:
Inner Bully: You didn't think this one through, Dana. Your shirt's too tight. Everybody can see your sports bra boob loaf.
Me: Seriously?! I'm not gonna remodel a house in a stupid underwire bra.
Inner Bully: They can also see your potbelly. Nice fat rolls, girl!
Me: I'm okay with those too. This is how I look. Now leave me alone. I'm posting it.
Happily, it is becoming easier to blow off my Inner Bully. I write about her a lot, so I have a heightened awareness of the cruel tactics she uses to throw me off kilter and out of the present moment.
I just got flamed for the first time online since I started blogging and I was surprised at how quickly I let it go. I don't think I spent more than a minute being upset and worried about it. We all have our bad days where we allow our Inner Bullies to attack ourselves or each other. It's just part of being human. So why get worked up about something that we all regularly do?
And, for Pete's sake, I'm sure we can all name times where we've grown leaps and bounds from these types of experiences. I can choose to see a challenge such as a personal attack or any other difficult situation, as an opportunity for the expansion of my soul.
Ya know...I really do love to think of us all as being souls, holy souls, rather than as boob loafed, potbellied bodies or even as our personalities. We all have our holy Inner Beings/Souls and our wannabe-holy Inner Bullies. My Inner Bully loves to think of herself as a queen. Queen Bitch. I sometimes refer to her as Your AssHoliness, just for fun. Because that's what she is, a total asshole to me and to others.
Once I recognize what is going on and am willing to shift my focus to who I really am and to who others really are, I can move back into presence - the now - this holy, holy moment - the only moment I ever truly have.